future undecided......

It's gonna be June soon..every1 is entering uni or college or getting something done for their future..but dear me is still stuck wondering what's gonna happen to me..what uni offer will I get, will I get the course I want, can I be who I want to be, or does God has other plans for me......

It definitely suxx to not know what's installed for you..

I definitely trust God has a plan made and carved out for me, but this is a whole new feeling to me. My dad always has something planned out for me, and I've always "blindly" followed this plans of his; from pre-school, primary, secondary and form 6. But now I want to have my OWN life, and this is a whole new experience for me; if you get what I mean. I should've done this back in form5. I should've taken a loan and done my sound engineering back then, but good old dad say it's a useless course and I should go form 6 then take a course which has a secured future. Naturally, I did it his way only to obtain results that has taken me far from my dreams. So now, things are gonna go my way, I've planned it all out; but my only worry is I cant get into mech eng which is the first stepping stone over this big river in front of me. This feeling of not knowing is kinda new to me, but I know I have to trust God and there's a first time for everything. And financial support will only be supplied till the end of my Mech Eng course. So here goes nothing and everything, there's definitely no room for mistakes if I want to get what I want now.

McD has always been asking me how's things between me and my dad, and everytime I wish I can tell her some good news. Things have been different between me and my dad ever since I decided to do things my way. It suxx enough that he doesn't support me, now he's not even talking to me unless it's ordering me to do something. I have a feeling that this is gonna last till I prove to him that my way is not wrong. So McD, if your reading this, you can kinda expect what I'll answer you for the next 10years or so. I definitely want things to be fine between me and my dad, but if I want to materialize my dreams, this has to happen.

Sorry dad, I have dreams of my own......

Horrible week..Sunday service worship session was a wreck..The stage monitor weren't working,caused Kelvin to sing out of tune. Kelvin had to drop his guitar n walk to the other corner with a working stage monitor. And all I could do is stand and watch all that happen.sux!!!!!!!!

Things got better in the afternoon. Took Eugene to JJ, he wanted to buy a guitar pick for Kelvin, went back to church, set up stuff for worship, SPY ran smoothly, and things went awry for me again. I felt this burning sensation in my joints, that only happens when I'm down with a fever, but my temperature was ok so I played football. After playing for half an hour, a terrible pain came to my chest I knew for sure i was gonna get sick. True enough, my temperature shot up to 41 yesterday, had a splitting headache, threw up like some cannon with spew as ammo & was so dizzy that I walked like some drunkard.

Had my first ever heated argument with my dad, I never raised my voice with my dad, but he crossed the line this time. Kept saying there's life outside the church. He indirectly called me stupid to. "You've been reading the bible for so many years now, & you still have to read it everyday". wth man. Then he claimed that the church deprives the children of their study time, accused me of running activities to distract the youths from their studies. Come on dad WE'RE trying to keep them in school by running activities for them, not ask them to run activities & skip school, get your facts right. He really pissed me off that day, he even challenged me to leave the house and see whether working in church can keep me alive. Typing out this post makes my blood boil so hot that i feel my headache coming back again.

DAD!!!!!!!!!!!

What so hard to und dat im no psychic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My dad thinks im a psychic..he doesnt open his freaking mouth and he expects me to noe dat he needs me to be at home..n bcoz of his amazing conclusion..im not allowed to spend so MUCH time in church..he's a pain in d a**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1